A change for heart

When Chronic Fatigue Syndrome kicked in 3 years ago, it was debilitating. I had to take long naps in the middle of the afternoon, I was forced to quit kickboxing, and exercise I loved, because it became too hard on my tired body. I didn't have the energy to do any normal activities after work like clean, cook, work in the yard...Some days I could barely get out of bed. It also made my weight steadily climb.

As of late, I have been truly disgusted with myself. Though I have started working out and I eat fairly well, I cannot lose this weight I've put on the last few years. I worry about my health because people I went to school are started to die. I long to be fit and healthy again and live a long full life.

I bought myself a Fitbit. My work is very sedentary. I work at a computer pretty much all day doing research, writing, marketing...Even when I go to the gym after work and walk on the treadmill and lift weights, I still can't seem to get my 10,000 steps in.

Today I got a wild hair up my butt and decided I needed to start walking to work. There is nothing else I could think of that would help me get those steps I needed. I figured between that, cutting out most carbs, some dairy, cheese, and drinking one glass of red wine a night for health, maybe I could drop some of my excess weight.

I looked it up on Google maps. It said it would take me 40 minutes to get there. I looked out my sliding glass door. It was windy, but not rainy. The sky was peeking through gray clouds. So I went for it. I emptied all the unnecessary things out of my backpack, added my computer and accessories, hair product, makeup and deodorant and off I went.

 I regretted my decision almost a mile in when I felt the first rain drop. Then another. Then another. I put the hood up on my sweatshirt and kept going. I thought, if it got too bad, I could call my daughter. Lucky, the rain abated as quickly as it had began.

I looked at my Fitbit about a mile in and had only achieved about 1300 steps. How could that be possible? Was walking to work even worth it? I got hot and took my sweatshirt off.

There aren't really any steep hills, but there are a few steady inclines, which I think are almost worse.
At just over a mile, my 40+ year old hips screamed at me to turn around. I ignored them. I was already half way there. I was cold again, and put my sweatshirt back on.

Someone in a truck honked. Was it you? Let me know. I really couldn't tell who it was.

When I could finally see the shop, I was home free.

When I walked through the door, I checked my Fitbit. I was just a few steps away from 5,000 half a day's goal. Got a glass of water, turned on the fan, and here I am.

My bad elbow hurts a little. Hopefully the 5+ pounds I carried on my back won't affect me too much if at all (I'm old you know). My hair didn't frizz out too much, my makeup didn't melt. It was a good experience.

I'm determined to fight my CFS. I'm tired of it keeping me from getting things done. My goal is to get my mind, body and spirit back in alignment (if it really ever were). I think walking to work will be a good start if I can make it a habit. It's a little hard right now, because the weather is still pretty crappy here. Come summer, though, I'll be good to go.

Thanks for reading my crap. 40 pounds to go, mind starting to unfog, happiness on the horizon.

Wednesday Weigh In: Ugh

Worse than last week.  Of course, I'm probably still gaining muscle because I'm exercising regularly, but I KNOW I maybe didn't eat all that good this week.  Sheesh, making myself accountable to the world isn't working yet.  I'm still working it though.

Time to get serious.  This is getting ridiculous!!

41 redux

This week I'm blogging about goals I'd like to meet during my 41st year on earth. (or is that really my 42nd, I was never really good with the maths). Yesterday was making and keeping connections alive, today it's my health.

At 41 I am in pretty good shape. Pretty. Good. Shape. I have my faults. I'm a little soft right now, and I hate it. I look much better when there is some kind of form to my muscles and my stomach doesn't look like I swallowed a watermelon.

I like food. I can't help it. I like to eat. I don't like to be hungry. This means I HAVE to exercise, which, um, I've kind of been slacking on as of late. So that's part of it, so start exercising again religiously, which to me is five days a week.

I also do not drink enough water. I try. EPIC FAIL. This was my goal over the last month and I think I may have actually drank LESS water than the previous month. My goal is to keep a big cup of ice water right next to my computer so when I'm writing, it will be there saying, "Drink me."

I also need to include more veggies in my diet. I'm not a big fan. I like my fruits, but veggies are another thing altogether. It will be different when the garden is bustling with peas, zucchini, tomatoes, lettuce, and radishes. There is nothing like home grown veggies, but right now it's difficult.

And, er, don't even get me started on red wine. Bacchus has a cruel sense of humor.

So, there's goal #2.

Thanks for reading.

Kisses

:*

Megan

The Shape of Me

Why oh why is it so hard to get into shape, but so easy to fall out of it. It takes months and months of eating right and excercise for me to feel good in my own skin, but only a week of slacking to make me feel like a total slob.


And don't even get me started on motivation. It takes me forever to get to the point where I want to excercise every day. Once I'm there, I'm good. But it only takes a couple days to fall back out of that habit.

My goal was to be in the best shape of my life by the time I hit forty. I was almost there. And then came the cruise. The cruise destroyed my entire committment to my program. The drinking, the laying around, the gluttony, made it so easy to forget all about my goals and become lazy.


Of course, the week long illness after I returned from said trip did not help either. After that, I was totally and completely out of my routine. No more excercise.

Also before the cruise, I was not eating much meat. Now that barbecue season is upon us, I'm back to being a carnivore again, in a big way, like I'm making up for those months of not having it.

So now that I feel a little softer, and a little more sluggish, and feel I have done my body a great disservice, I'm finally getting motivated again, starting slowly, but I know I'll regain some speed. It's almost motivation enough to have my Wii fitness coach remind me that I haven't been getting to my work outs regularly (I hate her).

I guess there is always forty-one.