April has been an interesting month for me.
The trip to Disneyland was fun, yet stressful. The stress of travel, crowds, money.
My mother-in-law's birthday was April 8th. She died eight years ago now. I always remember her during this time. First because of her birthday, second because Easter usually falls in April and it was her favorite holiday, and third because she moved into my house and died this time of year also.
And more death. Three. And not that I was too close to those who've passed, but death still leaves its dark mark.
And then there's my birthday. And, shhhhhhh, *whispers* keep this between you and me, but I'm not getting any younger. The back side of 40 now. Where did my youth go?
There are also things about my writing causing me to straddle the cavern between crying and laughing.
And my daughters. Thing one to be exact. Soccer to be perfectly precise. Try outs. Thing two automatically makes the "C" team as a sixth grader. Thing one had to try out, and while she has the talent, sure as snot, I worry about politics. It's always politics that get in the way of our dreams it seems. In my opinion she was one of the better players on the field all week. She has a strong foot, good moves, she's an awesome passer, and she can shoot and score. But some of the girls were on the team last year (Thing one did not try out much to my chagrin). And some of the girls know the coach from club play. So I worry. I worry that instead of writing today, I will be comforting a very teary teen.
But April often gives me hope for the rest of the year. Gives it new life like the pansies already in full bloom in my back yard, or the hydrangeas coming up in my flower bed. My Ella Bee (my grand niece, what? you say I don't look old enough to have a grand niece? why thank you) turns one tomorrow. She has been a ray of sunshine in my often dark world this year. And I have a new nephew, Levi, born just a couple days ago.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter who dies, who ages, who mourns, who cries, there is always that tiny bud of life ready to bloom that makes you forget, even if only for a moment, all of it.
Edited to say: One worry crossed of my list as Thing One has made the soccer team. Whew!