10 resolutions I won't be making...

1. To stop talking shit about people. Everyone does it. Okay, when I talk shit about my friends, I mostly do it to their faces because if they're acting stupid, I think they should know about it. I hope they would do the same for me. Mostly I talk shit about stupid celebrities because seriously, they boggle my mind. I'm still trying to come up with a pithy phrase for my Kanye boycotting campaign. Maybe instead of Kan-yeah, it should be Kan-nay. SMH, I know, that's horrible. I'll keep thinking...
2. To learn something new. I cannot even keep up with the stuff I already know, why would I want to add anything to that list. I'll just maintain my level of intelligence right where it is thank you.
3. Take more time for myself. HAHAHA. I have come to the conclusion that time for myself is a fallacy. It will happen only as a fluke, there is no making time for it, so there is no point in resolving to do so.
4. Keeping a journal. I try, I really do. I write sporadically. I'll write for a couple
   
   days, then not again for say, a year, then I'll remember I have a journal and I'll pick it up again. It's pathetic. Sad thing is my life is interesting. Laughably so. I'm sure my kids would get a kick out of reading about it eventually. Perhaps I'm dismissing this one too quickly. Should rethink...
5. Save money. Yeah, in a perfect world I want to do this. I mean, I do this, but I do it so I don't know I'm doing it, with money I never see. It would be nice to be able to do it with money I do see, but I don't have money to save because I have these little plastic things that hold other people's money that they let me use when I don't have money of my own and then they charge me like 5 million times more than I used to pay it back. Yeah, so first I'm going to pay that back before I save my own money.
6. Conquer my  fears. No. I'm sorry. I will never pet a spider. You will never get me into a submarine, which attributes to two of my fears, drowning and being in enclosed spaces, I will not get too close to the Grand Canyon or any high space with little protection for fear I will plummet to my death, and keep your clowns to yourself. They will always paralyze me with fear and I refuse to ever try to conquer that. So there.
7. Swearing. Fuck that. Who cares? I know when and where to not use my "f" bombs. I will not use them when meeting your grandmother, if I'm at your wedding or funeral (well, maybe at your funeral) or if your tiny children or near, otherwise, it's fair game.
8. Give up vices. Why should I deprive myself of the very things that make life
   
   enjoyable for me? If I exercise and eat right, I don't see why I can't drink coffee and wine habitually and gamble every so often.
9.  Enjoy life to the fullest. Right. This seems like a good idea, but if you're a writer that writes about the trials and tribulations in life, one who writes about social issues like illness and cutting, school violence, death and dying, you need to be a little broody at times. So I'll live life to the fullest every other day and sulk in a writing angst the others. Good compromise?
10. Use social media less. Why? This is how people connect now. This is how I stay connected with the many writers I've met from all over the world. With the readers, librarians and teachers I've connected with through my writing. This is how I've reconnected with old friends from elementary, junior high and high school. My new BF I've known since 5th grade and where did we reconnect? Facebook. So when people tell me I should really lay off the________________(fill in your favorite social media outlet) once again I say why? Sure, human contact is important, but how cool is it to be able to stalk people all over the world now?

Is there any popular resolutions you are just saying "no" to?

I feel good! *cue James Brown*

I really do. I've let REJECTION #1 roll right off. I'm ready for REJECTION #2 (or miracle of all miracles representation). I'm pretty sure I've got a part time gig reviewing books lined up for some extra cash. Not much, but it will help.

I feel awesome, walking, playing soccer. My kids are amazing, getting their homework done, playing some awesome soccer, making some music (the latter only Thing One, she's going to a meeting for the school musical today, Grease, I'm going to live vicariously through her if she makes it).

I'm getting through the revisions. Slowly, but getting there.

I'm thinking of the positive things in life. Trying to ignore the negative. This is kind of a first for me. I've been treating myself good for four days in a row now. I know that sounds crazy, but if you knew me in real life, you'd understand. I'm telling myself I'm worth it. I'm worth the hard work, the will power, that second book deal, that healthy body, that happiness.

Full frontal

I'm using it as a metaphor (is that the right word? I can never keep them straight.) for the unveiling of  truth about what I've been feeling lately. It will seem like this all has nothing to do with writing, but in the end it does.

Call it whining, call it self pity, whatever, but I've had all these feelings bottled up and I'm tired of feeling them.

Day job. It's hard. I've taken on more than I was ever supposed to. There is really no title or job description for what I do. I should be making the kind of money a professional makes, but I don't. However, I do enjoy it, so there's that.

Relationships. Me and the BF broke up. I did the breaking up though I liked him a lot. I had my reasons. I thought we could be friends, then I saw him, and I realized it was too soon because it's still very raw with me in fact I'm tearing up right now as I'm writing this because I really didn't want to let the relationship go, but knew for my happiness I had to.

Health. I've been exercising. I've been riding bike, playing soccer (I did pull a muscle, but getting back into it slowly, been stuck playing goalie), and walking a lot. I've found that I dislike running greatly (trying to stay away from the "H" word). I may try it again, but truly I can't stand it. I eat well. Pretty well. I like pizza every once in a while. I like to go to wing night, but I eat salads every week day for lunch, fruit, yogurt for breakfast. I never eat chips or other crap, I don't drink pop.

Money, let's just say ugh. Looking for more work or that second book deal.

I have been a little self destructive lately. I won't elaborate, but every so often I get in a funk, and I stay there until I feel like my own life is out of my control. And it doesn't matter if I'm trying to do good things for myself, as well, the bad always wins out. Because of this, my writing suffers.

I've tried to work on my revisions every day, I hate not seeing the stars on my calendar, and I've done okay, but I'm not very motivated and I've not done enough. I've been so tired. Sometimes I feel like the writing world is leaving me behind.

I started fresh Sunday though. I upped my game. I'm being good to myself, going to take time for just me (and my kids, can't ignore them I guess, right :)). I'm walking longer, (not riding bike right now because of a faulty tube, which I need to take back but haven't had time and can't afford to buy new tubes right now). I'm going to look at the positive in the things I do and try to ignore the negative.


And I'm going to finish these damn revisions and get it submitted. I'm going to get this second book deal.

*breathes deep, does Tadasana pose*

F³A: The Fruits of My Labor

Writing. Sometimes it seems so unrewarding. I mean, most people will never see their work published. Of course with the rise of self publishing I supposed that's changed, which has its advantages and drawbacks.

But I digress.

Even those that are published--how many unpublished manuscripts do they have collecting metaphorical dust on their computer. I have at least six.

And when you're published, self or traditionally no matter,  you cannot believe how much work you have to do to market it. I mean, it's not going to sell itself. I've spent so much money and time trying publicize me, Never Eighteen. I'm constantly exhausted.

Sometimes it seems like it's not even worth the trouble.

But it is, isn't it?

Writers don't write for notoriety or money (well most, I mean there are those big names that are now just churning out shit to make a buck. They probably aren't even writing their own books anymore. I'm not naming names).

We write for ourselves. Because it's cheaper than therapy. We write to feel a sense of accomplishment. We write because simply, we love it.  I'm not going to use the cliche that writing is like oxygen,  I'm more about the whole therapy thing. Seriously though, some of us writers can't imagine a life without it.

It's what we do, it's who we are, and every word we write becomes part of us, like a cell or a mole, or an eyelash. Little bits that alone seem like nothing, but when put together become a whole.

Writing completes me.

Find a Mantra Make it Work

So yesterday I posted about the advice my BF gave me yesterday because I've been stressing a lot lately and sleeping bad. You know, Be, Do, Have. I really took it to heart.

Money is one worry, so I made out a budget and I showed it to my kids, and I'm really going to do my best to stick to it until I get some bills paid off.

He also gave me some advice on how to get caught up and stay in the black, which I'm definitely going to follow. (if I haven't mentioned it before, my BF is a pretty smart guy)

Another thing weighing on me was having enough time in the day to get things done, so I made out a schedule. I also showed that to my kids so they'd know exactly what I wanted to be doing when. I decided that writing time needed to be done anywhere but in the house. I just worry about too many other things when I'm home like dishes in the sink, weeds in the herb bed, or laundry in the basement.

One of the things I'm vowing to do is write every day. I'm putting aside and hour and a half. Now, that's my schedule, but I know sometimes things don't work out the way you want them too, so I'm going to carry a notebook in my car so if something comes up, I can still write I will say that last night I went to Forza and did 27 pages on my rewrite. And it felt good. And now I'm 107 pages into a 180 page book. I'm that much closer which is a big motivator to keep going.

Be. Do. Have.

I've figured out what I'm going to BE. That is a person with a budget and a schedule to get things done. And I will Do those things. Then I will HAVE the financial freedom and time to be and do whatever I want.

:)

Okay, now I'm accountable to you. Here it goes.

Insomnia and other side affects of writing

Every so often I go through bouts of sleeplessness. Last night was one of those nights. I'd only slept for four hours when it was time to get up. I couldn't function, so I called in sick and went back to bed.

Why couldn't I sleep?

You know when you wake up and then your mind goes and you just can't get it to shut off? That was me last night.

I was thinking about my agent search, worrying about how long it was going to take. Wondering what happens if I don't get one.

I thought about finishing this rewrite that I've been working on for months now with no motivation.

Money
Relationships
Work
Writing
Medical issues

You know, all the life worries that pop into your head at 2 am.

I talked to my BF today. He gave me some very good advice. First, I need to make a list of the things that are in my control and work on them, the rewrite, the budget, querying agents.

Don't worry about the things that are beyond my control. There's nothing I can do about them.

He said I'm thinking backwards. He says I think "have, do be". If I have this, then I can do this, than I can be this. He says I should be thinking in reverse.

Be. Do. Have.

It makes a lot of sense.

Now, to make that list.

A big advance doesn't necessarily mean a big backing

I just read in an email from a fellow writer that an author received a six figure advance but still received no marketing help from the publisher.

When you get published, this is a good thing to keep in mind. If a publisher won't help an author pay back a large advance, what are they going to do with a little quiet book?

Nothing.

Probably nothing.

Maybe a little but more than likely nothing.

• I admit to having spent some *cough* of my own money marketing Never Eighteen. I put money into bookmarks, buttons, and bracelets. I do my own designing, so I don't have to pay for a graphic designer which saves money. I do know a great graphic designer who has done author swag and self published book covers though if you need one.
•  I try to always have extra books with me. I buy them at my local indie because they count toward my sales, and they give me a discount. 
•  I've traveled to New York, as well as used gas locally to get to events. 
•  I hired a local publicist, which for me was worth the money. Not everyone goes this route though.

I have done some things that don't cost as much.

• Postcards. They really didn't cost that much. I sent them out to all the schools and libraries in my area to tell them about my book and to let them know I was available for school/library visits. I believe I sent out close to 200, all hand written for that personal touch. From  these I got an offer from the Tacoma public library to host my release party and a handful of school visits, which to me was worth the $30 or whatever amount it was.
•  My publicist opened the doors to some opportunities, schools, libraries, book stores. However, this is something I can do on my own. I think I just wasn't at that comfort level yet when my book first came out. Now? I have no problem with it. I have the contacts I made through my publicists and have made new ones through other events I've done. I've done 27 author events this year (one was a Skype visit, that was fun) and have a bunch more coming this fall. I will say, eventually I will be asking to get paid for some of these visits, but for now, I'm doing them for free. I will say my publicist also got me a couple radio shows and interviews.
• Book bloggers. Say yes to every interview, guest blog, blog tour. Some of these bloggers have thousands of followers. Is it a lot of work? Yes. But it's free publicity. You may have to try to get them an ARC from your publisher or you may have to donate swag for a giveaway, but it's a free way to get your book out across the globe (there are many bloggers out of country).
• Apply to speak at conferences, book festivals, and the like. It will get your name out there, and hey, you may even get paid for it.
• Newspaper events. Anyone can post an event in their newspaper's website. You just go to their events page, and they should have a link that says "post an event". So anytime you're at a library or book store, post it in that area's local paper.
• And don't forget social marketing. Twitter, Facebook, Blogging, Vlogging, Tumblr, whatever. Don't just tell people "Buy my book" though. Give them some advice, information, a little insight to your personal life.
• Think outside the box. What's your book about? Where is it set? Find places that have something to do with your book and ask if they'll carry it, or if you can do an event there.

Okay, I think that's all I've got. Just keep in mind, once you get published, your book doesn't sell itself. Book marketing takes perseverance and dedication. If you want people to read you, you have to be ready to work.

Monkey Madness: Time to Pull the Purse Strings

Monday again. These last couple years have been a bit crazy and a total money drain. Between getting divorced and having to furnish a new house, buying a car, and publicizing my novel, let's just say the saving is running dry.

Plus, I'm taking a vacation to AZ in hopes of replenishing my vitamin D levels, AND I'm headed to New York in June for Book Expo America.

The problem? I'm not a good saver. In fact, I'm the opposite of a good saver. First and foremost, I'm going to prepare my kids. I'm usually pretty liberal with the spending money. They're definitely going to have to earn it, and they only get what they earn.

Me, well, I'm going to have to make a list of what's important and go from there. First thing to go is cable television. I don't watch it. Kids don't watch it. Right there I'll save about$30 a month. Wants vs needs. ugh.

Do you have any good strategies for saving money?

Paying It Forward Part Deux

The husband and I used to frequent this restaurant for breakfast called the Ruston Inn.  We would go every Sunday, with or without kids, and the waitstaff new us well.  There was this cute dark haired waitress who was very good and very nice and she knew what we wanted before we ordered it.

I remember it was right before the holidays, and my dad had a good year at the office, so he and my mother gave us a generous monetary gift to use for the holidays.  We decided since they did that, that we would pay some of it forward to our favorite waitress.  We are pretty generous tippers to begin with, usually 20%, but that day we ate for about $25 and gave her a $100 tip.

We tried to leave before she found it, but she caught up and tried to give it back.  We refused and she thanked us saying she could really use the money.


Weirdly, we never saw her again.   

I hope we helped her in some small way.

If you have a story you'd like to share, feel free. And don't forget to drop by B. Miller's blog for her Pay it Forward Giveaway.  Become a follower even.

Ciao,

Megan